Do you feel a little bit jealous when you view others’ success? Do they seem too happy or seem to lead perfect lives? Are you working hard, but feel discouraged when you see others who seem to have everything that you want?
Even a little bit? Yeah, me too. (Ahem.) It may feel a bit embarrassing to admit it, but it’s ok. It’s completely normal to feel that way.
Seth Godin calls the Internet the “envy amplifier” and boy, is he right! So here are 3 tips from Marie Forleo of MarieForleo.com for dealing with envy of those who seem to have everything you want.
Tip #1: Remember the “Filter Factor”
You might not realize all of the filters that information on the Internet has passed through before you actually see it.
Just like the filters on photos that make colors pop and make bad skin as creamy as half and half, we use filters to decide what we’re going to share publicly and what we don’t.
This isn’t manipulative. It’s just…normal.
We all love to share our successes, us in a great outfit, our latest gorgeous website, etc. We don’t share photos of us with a huge pimple on our face, a photo of the mediocre meal we ate yesterday, a video of us fighting with our significant other, the sale that bombed, etc.
We choose what we’re going to share publicly and what we’ll keep private. Everything happy or great that you see has already been processed through several filters, so you’re rarely seeing the whole picture.
Tip #2: Allow Yourself to Experience the Full Range of Your Emotions
One of the biggest mistakes most people make when dealing with envy or any other “bad” emotions is trying to overcome it. “What you resist persists.” So the more you try to overcome envy, the more it gets stuck with you.
We’ve been taught to label emotions as “good” or “bad.” Happiness and excitement are “good” emotions. Fear, sadness and yes, envy are labeled “bad” emotions.
But what if we just stopped labeling emotions as “good” or “bad, but just allowed ourselves to experience the full range of emotions that are essential to the human experience? So stop demonizing envy (or whatever other emotion you’re experiencing that you’ve labeled as “bad”) and just allow yourself to acknowledge how you’re feeling and allow yourself to experience it.
Tip #3: Turn Envy Into Action
Now that you’ve allowed yourself to acknowledge and experience it, it’s time to turn envy into ACTION! Acknowledge it, but don’t wallow in it.
Envy can be both inspiring and instructive. If you’re envious of someone’s results, let that propel you forward. The fact that someone else has done it means 1) it CAN be done and 2) that you can do it too.
Realize that envy is often a clue that there’s something in you that needs to be expressed. So let it trigger your talents and gifts. Let it guide you to where you need to take some action in your own life.
So if you’ve been feeling envious of others, don’t feel embarrassed. Just remember:
“Don’t hide your envy, ride your envy — from ‘I want what she has’ to ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’”
Supporting you for your success,
Founder & CEO